NY Does Pests

This is a conversation from the authors while watching the wonderful show, New York goes to work. For those who do not know who New York is, she was one of the finalists in the Flavor Flav series, "Flavor of Love". Unable to find love, TBTB @ VH1 decided to give New York her own show in order to find that love... the show titled "I Love New York". However, she was unable to do so for 2 consecutive seasons, and like every woman in America, she was left to find herself. TBTB @ VH1 once again offered her a show, helping the United States see what a gifted actress she really could be, in "New York Goes To Hollywood". It was at this time that the viewing audiences realized they could not be without their beloved New York. Thus bringing us, "New York Goes To Work". For this, the viewers must pick a profession that they would love to see their most favorite participate in. If she can do all the tasks bestowed upon her, from each chosen field, then she shall win a prize of 10,000 US dollars. In this episode, America has decided that New York aka Tiffany Pollard must work as a Pesticide agent. Here the authors of this blog describe the many feelings they have while watching it... Enjoy!

9:06 PM CttySrk4LIFE: the HBIC's getting her ass stung!
CptMrgn88: them bees be rollin deep!
9:08 PM CttySrk4LIFE: I see many nights spent watching her silly ass freak out
9:09 PM CptMrgn88: i can see many a wknd
watchin this marathon
CttySrk4LIFE: yes, this would make a kickass marathon
CptMrgn88: she should work on a stud farm for horses
CttySrk4LIFE: that would be good
CptMrgn88: MOMMY!
CttySrk4LIFE: LOL
9:11 PM that would have been a sad end to the show
New York--dead from bees
CptMrgn88: true
CptMrgn88: snake ass!
CttySrk4LIFE: she's gonna kick that guy's ass
9:12 PM awwww, she's not gonna get the dough
CptMrgn88: "hell naw"
CptMrgn88: "HES LOOKIN AT ME"
CttySrk4LIFE: he's all, hey baby
CttySrk4LIFE: I like that they labeled the bag
CttySrk4LIFE: "SNAKE BAG"
CptMrgn88: i like her more and more
CptMrgn88: and i hated her
CttySrk4LIFE: I still pretty much do
9:14 PM CptMrgn88: throw up scene!
CptMrgn88: fashion mask!
CptMrgn88: does that guy jason have
a rattail???
CttySrk4LIFE: nice
9:15 PM she's gonna look like a bug
CttySrk4LIFE: is it a cat?
CptMrgn88: rat
chihuahua
CttySrk4LIFE: pig farmer!!!
CptMrgn88: pet groomer
that is TOUGH
CttySrk4LIFE: pig farmer pig farmer pig farmer
but pig farms stink like nothing else
and pigs are evil and vile
9:17 PM CptMrgn88: true
hence the movie snatch
CttySrk4LIFE: and she loves to date pigs
like that shitastic whatshisname that just lost I love $$
CptMrgn88: who lost
oh
tailor
9:18 PM CttySrk4LIFE: yeah, that douche
CptMrgn88: racist mcd's comercial!
CptMrgn88: that rat aint that big
CttySrk4LIFE: no plague!
9:21 she's gonna die
CptMrgn88: DO IT DO IT
CttySrk4LIFE: lol, if she doesn't like touching ugly things, how'd she ever tolerate Tailor Made?
9:22 PM "My eyes are not crazy"
CttySrk4LIFE: don't puke in your mask, ewwww
9:23 PM whatta baby
CptMrgn88: i think she did ok
CttySrk4LIFE: I'm thinking it's a no
9:24 PM CptMrgn88: jason guy is sayin no
9:25 PM CptMrgn88: oh god i seen mortician
CttySrk4LIFE: that would rock
CptMrgn88: that needs to be a full hr
CttySrk4LIFE: work isn't cute
CptMrgn88: i think hes gonna do it
CttySrk4LIFE: WTF?!?!?!?
no ways
NO WAYS
CptMrgn88: i was gonna give it to her
CptMrgn88: 2 of 3 aint bad
and there was a live rat
CttySrk4LIFE: it's 66%
CptMrgn88: she woulda been ok if they woulda all been dead
CttySrk4LIFE: FAILS lol
CptMrgn88: 66% thats passing!
it was for me in highschool! LOL
CttySrk4LIFE: not on my scale
CttySrk4LIFE: <-----hardass

CptMrgn88: i give all A's softie<--

Don't All Tigers Tickle?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: JUDO CHOP!
Stranger: hello
Stranger: ARGH STARIGHT IN THE FACE
Stranger: STRAIGHT*
You: Oh that must have hurt!!!
Stranger: it did that's gonna bruise you bastard!!
You: hahahahahaha!
You: *bows*
Stranger: I shall have revenge
You: You shall
You: the night is still young...
You: *karate kid kick*
You: FWAAAAAA
Stranger: GOD DAMN YOU
Stranger: stop itttt.....
Stranger: :'(
You: aww
You: i'm sorry
You: you must learn these moves young grasshopper
Stranger: *vibrating palm attack* YEAAAAH
You: TIGER CLAW!!!
Stranger: hahahaaaaaa
Stranger: it tickles
You: Don't all tigers tickle?
You: Meooooooow RAWRRRRRRRRRR
Stranger: O.o
Stranger: scary tiger!!
You: Crouching Tiger... he ate the hidden Dragon...
Stranger: Oh dear, he accidentaly the whole dragon!!!!
You: It was Tigerrific
Stranger: XD
You: The Dragon dared to tickle the Tiger
You: So he ate him...
You: Because only Tigers tickle...
Stranger: true dat!!! *snaps fingers*
You: *snaps back*
You: WORD!

It Always Leads Back 2 Uranus...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: greeting earthling
You: many greetings
You: what planet are u from?
Stranger: idk you pick
Stranger: i was gonna say uranus but that's too cliche
You: hmm...
You: Mars is cliche too
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: people suck with planets
You: I will say Pluto
Stranger: it's always those two
Stranger: oh man
Stranger: i'm from a non-planet
Stranger: awesome
Stranger: haha
You: ok fine
You: Neptune
Stranger: haha i don't care if you said pluto i'm just messing around
You: ok
You: then back to pluto
You: or u can be B-planet
You: Bi*
You: ur a nuto
You: ur dad is from Neptune and ur ma is from Pluto
Stranger: awesome
Stranger: planet reproduction ftw
You: lol
Stranger: i can see it now
Stranger: nuto's first day of school
You: LOL
You: Oh nuto...
You: you are sooooo smart
Stranger: haha
Stranger: if i'm nuto what's that make you
You: im an earthling
You: so I'm just... me
You: hahaha
You: nuto and the nutso
Stranger: the nutso
Stranger: uh oh
Stranger: you've been committed?
Stranger: oh noes!
Stranger: hahaha
You: no... but bein from earth
You: i may to u
You: hahaha
Stranger: meh
Stranger: nuto's pretty chill with earthling
Stranger: hence the "greeting earthling"
You: ahh ok
Stranger: if you were from somewhere else, i'd be like @#$(*^WE*ORGAIRG BITCH!
You: lol
You: true
You: if i was from Venus, i'd be ur enemy
You: haha
Stranger: true
Stranger: oh those damn venusians
Stranger: stole my little space doggy when i was just a wee planetary offspring
You: damn them!
You: with there hotness, just cuz they are from Venus
You: u need to call ur cousin from Jupiter
You: get it back
Stranger: ehh
Stranger: he and i had a falling out, idk if you knew or not
You: no, really?
Stranger: we disagreed over david bowie
You: aww thats sad
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: we're not really on speaking terms
You: :'(
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: time heals all things i guess
You: it does
You: you can have a universe intervention
You: talk about ur intercelestial feelings
Stranger: who would lead it though?
You: idk, Oprah?
You: she could tooootally lead it
Stranger: i mean
Stranger: oprah's pretty powerful, but i'm not sure she's THAT powerful
You: hmm this is true
You: You may need the people of Jupiter to do this
Stranger: dude
Stranger: i'm not cool with jupiter right now
Stranger: remember?
You: I know... but its a start
You: or better yet...
Stranger: i think what we'll need is yoda
You: maybe someone from Saturn
Stranger: that might be possible
Stranger: although that's right next door to you-know-where
You: or if all else fails
Stranger: they could be secret allies
You: u can always look to Uranus...
You: ha ha ha :-p
Stranger: man, uranus is full of shit
Stranger: :O
Stranger: haha
You: ha ha ha
You: this is true
You: usually is, but it is a last resort
You: hahhaaha
Stranger: haha true
Stranger: well played
You: indeed

"I'm alllll for equal rights"

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: gay?
You: yay
You: i'm allllll for equal rights
You: MILK!
You: RUPAUL!!!
Stranger: yep
Stranger: from?
You: US!
Stranger: i am looking for sex
You: awww I'm sorry
You: sex online is empty :o(
Stranger: whats you?
Stranger: show me a picture
You: I hope you find it... it can be a 'Hard' thing to come by ;o)

Happy Memorial Day!!!

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: whoa whoa whoa
You: omg omg omg
Stranger: u heard it too?
You: yeah
You: it was realllllllly loud!
Stranger: damn i know
Stranger: gotta hit the bunker
You: I know...
You: *hits bunker*
You: now what?
Stranger: i dunno think happy thoughts
Stranger: its all we've got
You: *thinks happy thoughts*
Stranger: hahaha
You: ahhh, I am happy :o)
Stranger: think we mader thru
You: phew!
Stranger: i hear ya
Stranger: such a relief
You: I know
You: I couldn't do it w/o you
Stranger: i know me too
Stranger: thanks for having my back
You: anytime
You: Happy Memorial Day!
You: I will remember this always! ;o)
Stranger: its special
You: In Memorium :-p

Manilow Causes Such A Stir!!!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: How are you?
You: I am dandy
Stranger: Like candy?
Stranger: As long as it isn't sandy.
You: dude
You: sandy is my mom
You: :-p
Stranger: I know. I love licking that bit-o candy.
You: makes u randy
You: then u want to play a game of bandy
You: with ur friend andy
Stranger: Only after I finish my brandy.
You: and listen to manilow's song
You: mandy
You: Oh mandyyyyyyyyyyyy
You: *sings*
Stranger: ...Why are you singing about my mother?
Stranger: Who would joke about such a thing!?
Stranger: You'ew horrible, horrible man!
You: Hey, you were talkin bout my mom
You: Sandy!
You: That's it I'm callin on Ms. Tandy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Sparkle?!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: sparkle?!
You: *sparkles*
Stranger: lmao
Stranger: im looking for someone
You: who sparkles?
Stranger: According to Stephanie Meyer vampires do
Stranger: anyway
Stranger: gtg bye!
You: "wait a minute, let me finish..."
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

WILLLLLLSONNNNNNN!!!!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: duuude were lost on this island
You: I knowwwwww
Stranger: what shall we do??
You: and I don't have the map
You: IDK walk around the Island
Stranger: damm maybe we can find somethin on the plane
Stranger: ?
You: yeah
You: like what?
You: a radio?
Stranger: yeah
You: I think we lost contact when we landed
Stranger: damn the plane broke apart to 3
You: I know! all we have is the cockpit!
Stranger: is the pilot alive??
You: I think I seen him float to sea
Stranger: try to call for help
You: WAIT we have tons of FedEx boxes... lets rip into em
Stranger: K do it!
You: omg i found my friend... WILSON!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: WILSON??? hes alive?? omG!
You: HE IS!!!
Stranger: DUCK!!! ITS A GRANADE!!
You: AHHHH Oh no!!!
Stranger: jump!
You: its an avocado instead!
Stranger: ohh puuh =.=
You: yeah :'/
Stranger: who the fuck threw that avocado?? :@
You: The monkey in the tree!!!
Stranger: OMG!!! FOOOOD!!!
You: His name is..... Marcel! MARCEL LIVESSSSS
Stranger: GET THAT MONKY!!
You: NO!!! He is finding us food!!!
Stranger: iam hangry
You: He is throwing us Coconuts now, and bananas
You: THANK U MARCEL
Stranger: i want meat man...iam a big guy... -.-
You: Dude, He's a killer Monkey, WATCHOUT!!!
You: *marcel throws bird*
You: AHHHH Here's ur poultry!
You: THANK U MARCEL
Stranger: woow! this monkey is useful!
You: He is!!! He can go where no one else can!!!
You: OMG MARCEL IS MAKING US MAI THAIS!!!
Stranger: ur right i shouldnt be so mean to him :(
You: no, especially cuz he works for us ;o)
Stranger: sorry man its my stumck =\
You: ITS OK
Stranger: WTF! its a bear!! OMG!
Stranger: get that gun!!!!!
You: NOOOO! THATS BARNEY
Stranger: wt?? O____O
You: The Bike Riding BEAR!!!
Stranger: ahhhh lol didnt realize
You: HE WILL PROTECT US FROM BAD PEOPLE
You: *waves to barney*
You: RAWWWWR *waves back*
Stranger: ur friend is realy cute
You: OMG BARNEY IS SHAKING THE TREE!!!
Stranger: why? O_o
You: *drops enemy from tree*
You: AHHHHHHH BARNEYYYYYYYY
Stranger: w00t
You: *barney eats enemy*
You: YAY!!!
Stranger: wooh!
You: THANK U BARNEY
Stranger: barney is so cool! :O
You: OMG Barney handed me a radio!!!
You: FROM THE ENEMY & IT WORKS!!!
Stranger: remind me again...why was he enemy?
You: BECAUSE HE WAS GOING TO SHOOT US FOR BEING ON HIS ISLAND
Stranger: ohh right that
You: YAY, I CALLED THE ROYAL AIRFORCE
You: Theyre coming now ;o)
Stranger: we were supposed to fight nazis now
You: LETS FIGHT EM
Stranger: ooh ok!
You: He was a nazi that fell out of the tree!
You: AND BARNEY ATE HIM
You: AND BRIT AIRFORCE WAS CALLED
You: BUT THE NAZIS GET THERE FIRST!
You: AHHHHHHH
Stranger: ohh good! now take a gun?
You: NO, AVOCADOS!!!
Stranger: are they gonna explode?
You: YEAH
You: cuz were gonna take the gun we found...
You: and shoot at the avocados when we throw em and it will create a diversion
Stranger: good idea
Stranger: so they explode right?
You: YEAH!
You: THEN WE GET BARNEY TO RIDE HIS BIKE
You: and they will get distracted, they will watch and we will kill em allllllllllll
You: THEN MARCEL...
You: Will pelt them with coconuts!
Stranger: WOOOW!! i like ur thinking
You: AND THEN... THE ROYAL AIRFORCE
You: will blanket the area with fire!
You: And we will get to the otherside of the island and meet them there!
You: CUZ they know were there
Stranger: nice!!
You: YEAH!
Stranger: ok lets do that
You: Dont 4get tho
You: WILSONNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: we need medic!
You: NOOOO!!! BARNEY CAN DO THAT TOO
You: He's talented! :)
Stranger: lol i think marcel is jelous
You: No No
Stranger: shh dont tell him
You: he gets the leafs as bandages
Stranger: ahh k
You: TEAM WORK!!!
Stranger: yeah!
You: :o)
Stranger: put ur hends together!
Stranger: T E A M W O R K!!
Stranger: yeeeee
You: YEAH!!!!
You: TEAM WOOT!
Stranger: k lets go!
Stranger: ill throw the avocados u shoot em
You: k
Stranger: barney you go flank em
Stranger: k i throow shoot it!!
You: *pow*
Stranger: again!
You: *pow pow*
Stranger: 2 more and barney is going in
Stranger: another 1
You: *pow, pow, pow pow*
Stranger: k lBARNEY!! start the show!!
You: *rides in*
You: *nazis giggle*
You: *KERPOWWWWWWWWWWWW*
Stranger: *shhoooo*
Stranger: *shhooo*
Stranger: 2 down!
You: AHHH YAY
Stranger: hit the right 1 hes aiming at us!!
You: omg do u hear that?
You: *planes overhead*
You: ROYAL AIRFORCE!!!
Stranger: yeee its the airforce!!!
You: RUN TO THE OTHERSIDE!!!
You: *shhhhhoooooooooooooo boom pow*
You: Omg barney is really cyclin
Stranger: lol yeah!
You: Marcel is 2 trees ahead!
Stranger: gotta run quicker!!!
Stranger: there are 2 on our tail!
You: I CAN SEE IT
You: *marcel tosses avocado
You: *KERPOW*
You: GONE!
Stranger: puuh that was close
You: OMG I SEE IT, YAY!!!!!!!!!
You: WE DID IT
Stranger: yeahhhhhhhhhh
You: OMG
You: We forgot...
Stranger: here are the choppers!
You: WILSONNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!
You: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Stranger: DAMN
You: Oh well
You: He was a ball anyway!
You: LETS GO!!!!
Stranger: goin home! :)
You: I will always remember this
You: You, Marcel, Barney
You: and most of all, WILSON!!!!!
Stranger: we make a great team
You: we shall call us, in honor of our fallen comrade
You: Team Wilson
You: always in are minds
You: 4ever in our hearts
You: WILLLLLLSONNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: yes, i will allways remember you, wilson ._.
You: :'o(
You: *cries*
You: Oh WILLLLSONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

You have disconnected.

GET THAT CORN OUTTA MY FACE!!!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: DISCONNECTED
You: *click*
Stranger: what are you clicking?
You: u said disconnected
Stranger: DID YOU VOTE FOR RON PAUL
Stranger: DID YOU?
Stranger: HOW OLD ARE OYU?
You: usually that involves a click
You: no...
Stranger: WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
You: I refrained from voting
Stranger: WHATS YOUR NAME?
Stranger: WHAT'S YOUR SEX?
You: STOP IT ACORN!!!
Stranger: DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT CORN
Stranger: I LOVE CORN
You: ACORN!
You: NOOOOOO
Stranger: ESPECIALLY WHEN I POOP IT OUT
Stranger: IT COMES CLUNKY
You: as Nacho says
You: GET THAT CORN OUTTA MY FACE!
You: *Slaps away*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

We'll Be Rocking 'til the Sun Goes Down

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi random stranger
You: hi!
You: just so yu know, I'm not an AH
You: I think
You: the last person I talked to said I was
Stranger: ah?
You: no frgging clue
You: so I'm not sure
Stranger: lol'
You: so what is happening in your part of the world?
Stranger: darkness
You: yeah, here too
You: wait you don't mean the band do you?
You: cause I hear they broke up
Stranger: i thought they died
You: even worse
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

SUDDENLY WALNUTS...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: SUDDENLY WALNUTS
Stranger: OUT OF THIN AIR
Stranger: MILLIONS OF THEM
You: AHHHHH
Stranger: DROWNING YOUR EVERY SOUL
You: I LOVE WALNUTS
You: BRAIN FOOOOOOOOOD
Stranger: OH NO
Stranger: DON'T EAT THESE WALNUTS
Stranger: THEY ARE NOT FOR EATING
You: *THROWS WALNUTS*
Stranger: For you see
Stranger: They are
Stranger: ZOMBIE WALNUTS
You: AHHHH
You: I AM ONE ALREADY
You: I AM GOING TO EAT YOUR WALNUTS
Stranger: NO I MUST KILL THE WALNUTS
You: I WILL EAT THEM
You: WALLLLLLLLLLNUTSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Stranger: And then John was a Zombie Walnut
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You Don't Like My Lettuce Wraps?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: CHIPPY JARED CHANG?
You: OMG!
You: HOW'D U KNOW!?
Stranger: jared chang?
You: NO
You: PF Chang
Stranger: hahhah
Stranger: wait
Stranger: really?
You: Ya
You: But I can call Jared 4 u
Stranger: what is your relation to jared?
You: My name is Paul Fo Chang
You: Jared is my 3rd cousin
You: How do you know Jared?
Stranger: hahah i dont
Stranger: someone was looking for him
You: Well you should stop by the restaurant! Maybe he will be there!
Stranger: and my friend and i are looking for eachother and we both came across the person looking for jared
You: You know the restaurant?
Stranger: hahaha chain inc ali
Stranger: youre messing with me
You: Noooo!
You: Chain starts in AZ then moved to Cali
You: and all around!
Stranger: hahaah
Stranger: stop
Stranger: youre funny
You: you don't like my lettuce wraps?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Peanut Butter...Ssssecrets!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: well, i never
Stranger: never what
You: never saw such a mess!
You: what in the world happened in here?
Stranger: now you see
You: yes, I do
You: I see all of the peanut butter, wasted
Stranger: haha
You: oh, laugh it up
You: but you'll be sorry when lunch time comes
Stranger: lunch time is so far away
Stranger: tell me your darkest secret
You: so far away...from me
You: im, ok
You: let me think
Stranger: the DARKEST one
You: as in the one I least want to share or the creepiest one?
You: there's a difference
Stranger: creepiest one of course
You: ok
You: that's probably easier
You: I used to chew my own toenails as a kid
Stranger: then how old are you
You: your turn!
You: 25
Stranger: yeah i'm 22 and i chew my toenails like you
You: still?
Stranger: sometimes
Stranger: lol
You: I commend your flexibility!
You: I only stopped because I can no longer reach
Stranger: just kidding
You: well, that's not a very nice thing to kid about
Stranger: sorry
You: I'll forgive you
You: ...this time
Stranger: you are a nice person
You: some days
Stranger: wish you all the good luck
You: but I get mean if I don't get my daily alotment of peanut butter
Stranger: better than never
You: yeah, you'd better run!
Stranger: earthquake outside
Stranger: i've got nowhere to run
You: good reason to run
You: in place
You: makes the earthquakes stop
You: the TV told me so
Stranger: oh i need my pants to become superman
You: ha ha ha that is funny
Stranger: but i forgot it in my room
You: superman doesn't wear pants
Stranger: he does
You: no he doesn't
You: clark kent does
Stranger: he wears pants out of his trousers
You: that is how you tell him apart
Stranger: well you win this round
You: thank you for your gracious consession!
You: but I have to go to the store and buy some more peanut butter
Stranger: actually my english is not very good
Stranger: ok then
You: since some people seem to think it grows on trees
You: ok, bye!
Stranger: haha
You have disconnected.

Spelling Required When Going To Texas...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: we have to go
Stranger: now
You: ok
You: where?
Stranger: texas
You: why?
Stranger: baby jesis is having a bondfire
Stranger: *jesus
You: really?
You: thats lots of money
Stranger: no
You: to fire up those bonds
Stranger: no money
You: of course
You: cuz he is burnin it
You: hence bond-fire
Stranger: no thats stupid...
You: u said it
Stranger: no
Stranger: i said bonfire
You: Stranger: baby jesis is having a bondfire
Stranger: im "you
Stranger: your stranger
You: yeah but it types out stranger
Stranger: no
Stranger: lol
You: and u are looking at you
Stranger: your lying
You: and you can't spell
Stranger: acutally i can
You: ahem
You: acutally?
You: actually...
Stranger: ahem is not a word
Stranger: soooo
You: no, its an action
Stranger: your a queer
Stranger: go home
You: dont get hot
Stranger: your not coming to texas
You: ha
You: i live there
Stranger: lies
You: therefore u are right
You: I am not going to Texas...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

My name is Maza...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: herro maza faka
You: hewwo!
Stranger: fak u!!!!
You: vit plezure
Stranger: my name is da.... like a some bod eee
Stranger: ok u maza faka?
You: My name is Maza
You: last name faka
Stranger: lawl
Stranger: nice
Stranger: u win
You: tanx
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Maybe This Would Make More Sense If It Were In Swedish

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi there sir
You: or madam!
Stranger: hi there madam
You: or sir!
Stranger: OH MY GAWD THIS IS CONFUSING
Stranger: hi there stranger
You: good, glad to see you survived it
Stranger: how are you today?
You: thought I'd have to clean more brains off the carpet again
You: oh, well, good, except for the brain cleaning thing
You: and how are you?
Stranger: I wouldnt blow my brains out, I would hang myself
Stranger: im fine, im hanging in there so to speak
You: that's good to know
You: I was worried you head might spontaneously esplode
You: that's right I said ESPLODE
Stranger: esplodation huh?
Stranger: where are you from mysteryman?
Stranger: or madam
You: esplodins are teh bestest
You: I am from the US of A
You: and you?
You: and I am a madam
You: but no the kind that runs brothels
Stranger: i was acctually looking for madams that run brothels.. you wouldnt like to start one would you?
Stranger: im from the swed and en
You: very nice!
Stranger: and im about to sleep so this site just keeps me up, f*** i hate it
You: well, I dunno about runnin' no brothels
You: yes, it is addictive
Stranger: it sure is
Stranger: have you ever been in a cockpit before?
You: and i keep coming here to mess around and then i start to actually talk to people
You: no, but I have been in a tank before
Stranger: same here, lol
Stranger: oh you have =) did you like it?
Stranger: i was in the army last year
Stranger: i was in a lot of tanks
You: and is that all the tanks you got?
You: sorry, bad joke
Stranger: hmmmm... not sure i got that one. My swedish mind is too slow ya know
You: it's kind of a weird one
Stranger: but hey at least i love pink tanks
Stranger: lol
You: pink tanks? you swedes have a very cool army!
You: nothing wrong with your mind, my jokes are all terrible
You: they smell like fish
Stranger: the inside was pink, smelled like fish indeed
You: me thinks you have a dirty mind
Stranger: and behind the tank was a brown little hole that we were told not to enter
You: yes, me knows you have a dirty mind
Stranger: me thinks you started it!!!
You: well, I never!
Stranger: ofcourse im dirty, im lying naked in bed chatting with a stranger who likes tanks..
Stranger: stranger stranger
You: my, I have never seen such a large....
You: BEAR RIGHT BEHIND YOU!
Stranger: AW GAWD I CANT SLEEP NOW
You: yeah, bears will do that to you
Stranger: too bad i wont go on the cam for you to show you my
Stranger: BUMBLEBEE RIGHT ON YOUR SHOULDER
You: OMG!!!!
Stranger: damn Im slow..
You: well, some girls like that sort of thing
You: in fact, i think most do
Stranger: mmmmmm
Stranger: would you like some candy?
Stranger: there is candy in the trunk of my car =) care to hop in?
You: only if you have a puppy, too
Stranger: i feel a strange connection going between us
You: yes, well, that will happen
Stranger: so tell me sir, whats your age?
You: I am still not a sir, I told you that already
Stranger: ofcourse =)
Stranger: oh sorry, I just like the word sir.. How old are you madam?
You: and my age is a classified secret
You: I could tell you, but your head would esplode
Stranger: I hate secrets =/
Stranger: esplode in a pile of orgasms?
You: yes, well, tell that to the government
You: I did not know that you could have a pile of orgasms
You: that is news to me
You: well, I for one am sick of waiting for that candy I was promised
Stranger: have you never hit the g-spot?
You: hit it with what?
You: I don't think hitting it is a good idea
You: no piles of orgasms that way
You: I shall be leaving soon
Stranger: if you hit it with a soda can i can garantee it will esplode
You: best of luck to you and your fish tank!
Stranger: well it was nice talking to ya,
Stranger: are you from /b/?
Stranger: TELL ME MADAM
You: I am from saskatchewan
Stranger: I hate that place =/
You: me too
You have disconnected.

ASL!?!?! You just HAD 2 Ruin It!!!

Stranger: hhhhhhhhhhhhi
You: hihihi
You: ;)
Stranger: asl
Stranger: ;0
You: oh u just had to ruin it didnt u
You: we were soooooo good too
You: then u had to ask
Stranger: ya realy
You: realllllly
You: asl
You: why asl!?!?!
Stranger: asl pplz
You: its not like im gonna marry you!
You: why does it matter????
You: cant we be sexless
Stranger: its not matter i will loveu
You: ageless
You: and in cyberspace?
Stranger: ya
You: you will love me?
You: how do I know?
You: you say that now
Stranger: keep searching u will find... best fluck
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

We All Want What We Can't Have

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heeey
Stranger: asl
You: well, hello there!
You: 42, H, US
Stranger: whats h
You: HOTTTT!
Stranger: oh so ur a 42 hot in us
You: well, 42 is hot around here because we live so far north
You: 42 is swimsuit weather
Stranger: kl
Stranger: u got msn
You: I have better than MSN
You: I have MSSN
Stranger: whats mssn
You: Most Super Secret Network
You: for members only
You: very exclusive
Stranger: idc
Stranger: i want msn]
Stranger: not msssssssssssssn
Stranger: lol
You: can't help you there, sorry :(
You have disconnected.

But I Wanted to be Bella's Dad....

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HI
You: hello
Stranger: HEY
Stranger: WHERE ARE YOU FROM
You: you're not a jerk, are you?
Stranger: IM NOT A JERK
You: I just wanted to make sure
You: US
You: where are you from
Stranger: US WHAT
You: Wisconsin
Stranger: OH THATS COOL
Stranger: DO YOU LIKE THE PACKERS
You: not at all
Stranger: THEY SUCK
You: I agree completely
Stranger: OK WERE ON THE SMAE PAGE
You: good to know :)
Stranger: SO WHY ARE YOU HERE
Stranger: MEET GUYS
Stranger: MEET GIRLS
Stranger: CYBER
You: to waste time
Stranger: ARE YOU A GIRL
You: last time I checked I was
Stranger: OH THATS GREAT!
Stranger: WE CAN CYBER
Stranger: I MEAN WE COULD CYBER IF YOU WERE A GUY TOO
Stranger: SO I DONT REALLY CARE EITHER WAY
You: I was just about to call you a jerk, but that's very nice that you're equal opportunity
Stranger: www.foark-n-spewn.blogspot.com
Stranger: THAT'S A POPULAR CHILDREN'S CARTOON IN CYPRESS
Stranger: IT'S NOT SOME SORT OF VIRUS
You: good to know
Stranger: YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE IT'S A BLOGSPOT
Stranger: BUT I MEAN
Stranger: WE CAN CYBER
You: not while I'm at the library, we can't
Stranger: WE COULD DO LITERARY-CYBER
Stranger: LIKE
Stranger: DO YOU LIKE JANE AUSTEN?
You: ok, I like where this is going
Stranger: SHE SUCKS BALLS
Stranger: I LIKE TWILIGHT
You: LOL
Stranger: YOU CAN BE EDWARD
You: then i get to sparkle!
Stranger: AND I CAN BELLA'S DAD
You: saweet
Stranger: SO WHEN DOES THE CYBER COMMENCE
Stranger: I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE
You: I'm not familiar with the Twillight story, so I don't know
Stranger: NEITHER AM I
You: see, you are a jerk
Stranger: I READ THE WIKIPEDIA SYNOPSIS OF THE MOVIE
You: COCKS!
Stranger: dude
You: what
Stranger: please
You: what
Stranger: SO WHEN YOU CYBER DO YOU PLEASURE BEFORE OR AFTER
Stranger: ADDITIONALLY
You: COCKS!
Stranger: I HAVE TO GO BUY ICE
Stranger: GOOD BYE
Stranger: CHECK THE SITE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Don't Be Jealous Of My Boogie!!!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Don't be jealous of my boogie!
Stranger: roar!
You: RAWR *claws*
Stranger: i got boogie of my own, wolverine style boogie, sexy and sharp
You: meowwwwwwwwww
You: I be scared of your boogie ;)
Stranger: many are.................
You: How do you, put it down on the dance floor?
You: 'Cuz I wanna be mad impressed by your boogie!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

The Party Wagon Is On Fire!!!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HEY!
You: !!!
Stranger: aaah!!
You: AAAHHH!
Stranger: i'm on fire!! AAHHH
You: STOP... DROP... ROLL!!!
Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59FCAYKyR00
You: ?
Stranger: amazing
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

WOW & GAY...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: i love man
Stranger: yeah i'm gay
You: i love man too
You: I'm not gay tho
Stranger: do u play wow?
You: we're in the same boat
You: Worlds of Warcraft?
Stranger: yes
You: no
You: sorry
Stranger: oh no
You: :o(
You: im not gay and not WOW
Stranger: so we are not talking about nothing
You: no
You: sorry
Stranger: byebye
You: No WOW or Gayness
You: Bye!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Afraid?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hii
Stranger: where from?
You: US, and you?
Stranger: same
Stranger: girl?
You: yes, you?
Stranger: guy
Stranger: good looking?
You: some days
Stranger: pics?
You: no, pecs
You: I'm a body builder
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Old Yeller Isn't That Crazy...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: how crazy are you
You: very
Stranger: on a scale of 1 to 10
You: *crazy*
You: 11
Stranger: you go to 11?
You: yeah
You: put 1 and 10 2gether
You: I be craaaaaazaaaaaay
Stranger: im frightened
You: *stares*
You: I guess u arent Crazzzzaaaay?
Stranger: not as crazy as you
Stranger: teach me
Stranger: oh crazy one
You: 1.
You: you have to sing Crazy
You: *sings*
Stranger: LA LA LA LA FUCKIN LA LA LA
Stranger: hows that
You: Crazy, Im crazy for feelin so lonely
Stranger: oh
Stranger: lame
Stranger: i dont want to be crazy
Stranger: i want to be political
You: well now thats just crazy
Stranger: yeah
You: too crazy for me
You: thats a 12
Stranger: im so awesome
You: yeah
Stranger: no one can beat me
You: U be the craziest fool
Stranger: fuk yeah
Stranger: im like
Stranger: OLD YELLER COME BACK YELLER
You: and ole yeller is like
You: Helllll Naw
You: That boy is craaaaaazzzzzaaaaay
You: *woof*
Stranger: fuk yeah old yeller!
Stranger: shit
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

How Much to Ship a Squirrel?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
You: well, I don't know
Stranger: hi
You: hi
You: so how DO you get a squirrel out of a tree?
Stranger: dont know
You: me either
Stranger: why do you want to do so?
You: and no one will tell me
You: damn thing has been teasing me all day
You: I wanna kick his butt
Stranger: you are crazy
You: perhaps
Stranger: how can a squirrel tease you
Stranger: ?
You: he keeps showing me his nuts
Stranger: so try to be happy in his happiness then
You: but I know he's just doing it to make me jealous
You: I can see it in his beady little eyes
Stranger: after all tree is its natural habitat why do you want to disturb it
Stranger: its nothing
You: disturb? I want to murder it
Stranger: you are really mad
You: I am furious
Stranger: just making an issue out of nothing
You: I'll send him your way, see how you like it
Stranger: go ahead
Stranger: well where are you from?
You: I will
You: US
You: and you?
Stranger: india
You: Ah, I'll have to buy him a plane ticket...
Stranger: yeah
You have disconnected.

"You Should Have Taken An Umbrella..."

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i'm so wet.
You: really?
Stranger: yess
You: you should have taken an umbrella...
Stranger: ahahaha
Stranger: i think i love you
You: oh... thank you
You: but really, next time, do take an umbrella
You: or a poncho
Stranger: ponchos > umbrellas
You: indeed... you won't get struck by lightning as much
Stranger: yeah thats getting annoying
You: yes...
You: better for protection
Stranger: ;)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Victoria's Secret Just Loves Me

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
Stranger: greetings, got boobies? :-o
You: yes, six of 'em
Stranger: awesome
You: I think so
You: makes dressing hard though
You: and buying bras is an adventure
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

lala land :o)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: lalalala
You: lalalalala
Stranger: lalalalala:)
You: la la la
Stranger: how r u?
Stranger: lalalalala:)
You: Im all la la la
You: how are you?
Stranger: location?
Stranger: hey stranger:)
You: lala land
You: :o)

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Tht Ws Jst Pln Cld

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: mep?
Stranger: asl?
You: I'm not an asl!
Stranger: k
You: u r rde
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

God vs. The Devil... (Here We Go Again...)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i am god
You: praise the lord
Stranger: thou art worthy to prase me
You: *bows*
Stranger: haha
Stranger: you have made the lord very pleased
You: that pleases me much
Stranger: do you go to church my child?
You: I do
Stranger: only on sundays or every day?
You: Sundays, but then I pray at home...
Stranger: my child sunday is the day of rest
You: I rest... @ Church
Stranger: thou shalt not rest at church thou shalt pray
You: When I pray, I rest
You: Before I rest, I pray
You: Now I lay me, down to sleep
You: I pray the lord
You: My soul to keep...
Stranger: very nice my child
You: Indeed
Stranger: the lord has a question for thou child
You: Yes...
Stranger: art thow christian or catholic?
You: I am both
Stranger: tell the lord how thou child has made this possible?
You: History has made it such
Stranger: child...
Stranger: do thou belive that Christ was a reincarnation of me or my child?
You: Christ is a reincarnation of all of those who choose to love, give, and show the word of God through their actions everyday
You: To live as he did, Christ lives in each and everyone of us...
Stranger: would thou child like to know the truth?
You: Yes...
Stranger: Christ was the result of too many beers and was a mistake
You: Ah well, can't blame god for good taste now, can you?
Stranger: no thou carnt
Stranger: i am having a confession box
Stranger: would thou like to confess?
You: Yes...
You: I confess that I thought God should have drank Whiskey...
Stranger: god say
Stranger: but wisky is for old cunts
Stranger: whiskey*
You: Ahh yes... and God is ageless
Stranger: yes
Stranger: if thou god was old
Stranger: thou god would drink wiskey
Stranger: but
Stranger: as thou should know
Stranger: god can change his image
Stranger: so if i feel like fuking and old bitch i look like a grampar
Stranger: if i feel liek fuking a 15yr old i become a teen and go to a party
Stranger: does thou understand?
You: thou understands
You: as I am a 15 yr old at a party
Stranger: child
Stranger: befor you type anymore
Stranger: this question is very important
You: ...
Stranger: the answer depends on life and death for thou
You: ?
Stranger: art thou a girl or a guy
Stranger: but thou should not lye
Stranger: because i already know
You: What do you think?
Stranger: god is all knowing
Stranger: so if thou lyes
Stranger: THOU SHALL BE STUCK DOWN TO HELL
Stranger: TO REPENT FOR ETERITY
You: Thou art the Devil...
You: and everyone knowd
You: the devil wears Prada
You: Therefore
You: she is a woman
Stranger: the devil is a girl
Stranger: but does thow prefer that
You: Yes
You: Because I wear Prada
Stranger: thou art were prada
Stranger: so thou are a girl or a crossdereser
You: A girl
Stranger: mhmmm
Stranger: thou art 16?
You: Thou are ageless
You: and can take many forms
Stranger: im asking u not me the almighty
You: AHHH but where there is heaven
You: there is hell
You: so we are as old as eachother
You: and if u are ageless
Stranger: so thou art the devil?
You: then so am I
You: Indeed
You: magic number 6
Stranger: thou lives at 666?
You: yes
Stranger: ahh
Stranger: thou should come over for tea one time
Stranger: i live next door
You: currently it is 66 degrees, so I have to turn up the thermostat
Stranger: 665
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Mep!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: mep?
Stranger: wtf?
You: just checking
Stranger: for?
You: meps
Stranger: and what is that?
You: don't worry about it, if you were one, you'd know it
Stranger: nooo, I wanna know?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: thank you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
Stranger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Stranger: I HATE MY MOTHER.
You: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Stranger: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
You: Don't blame the rest!
Stranger: I LOVE THE REST.
Stranger: JUST MINE CAN DIE.
Stranger: LOLK?
You: HAHAHAH
You: Why?
Stranger: BECAUSE SHE SUCKS.
Stranger: LOLKBAI.

"I AM CAPTAIN PLANET!"

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: "By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!" Captain Planet, he's our hero Gonna take pollution down to zero He's our powers magnified And he's fighting on the planet's side Captain Planet, he's our hero Gonna take pollution down to zero Gonna help him put asunder Bad guys who like to loot and plunder "You'll pay for this Captain Planet!" We're the Planeteers You can be one too 'Cause saving our planet is the thing to do! Looting and polluting is not the way Hear what Captain Planet has to say!
Stranger: "The Power is Yours!"
You: Ahh!!!
Stranger: WOW!
You: CAPTAIN PLANET!
Stranger: STRANGER!
You: DANGER!
Stranger: EARTH!!!!!!!!
Stranger: WIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: FIRE!
Stranger: FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: AHHHHH!
Stranger: when the powers unite!
Stranger: With your powers combined, I am Captain Planet
You: AHHH!
You: Then what am I?
Stranger: Why, nature loving young sapling, you'll have much to learn about protecting the enviroment
Stranger: Our world is in peril. Gaia, the spirit of the Earth, can no longer stand the terrible destruction plaguing our planet. She gives five special rings to five special young people. From Africa, Kwame with the power of earth. From the North America, Wheeler with the power of fire. From the Soviet Union, Linka with the power of wind. From Asia, Gi with the power of water and from South America, Ma-Ti with the power of heart. With the five powers combined they summon earth's greatest champion - CAPTAIN PLANET!
Stranger: Come on BJ, let’s blow this Stalagmite stand. !
You: ok!
Stranger: Kwame, Wheeler, Linka, Gi, Ma-Ti: Go, Planet!
You: Go, Planet, Go!
Stranger: You made your planet a wasteland Zarm. Now go live there!
You: Ok!
Stranger: Next time, Planeteers, go solar. No kaboom.
You: No kaboom it is!
Stranger: I never knew what a hard job I have. Ow, my back.
Stranger: May I have your attention please... There is a rat in your mists who has been spreading lies
You: Really?
You: who?
Stranger: Face it you, your evil plans are on the rocks.
You: DRAT!
Stranger: Hopalong Planet will not take this lying down.

You: Oh well :(
Stranger: And so are you, Planeteer. Thanks for *your* help.
You: You are welcome!
You: THANK YOU CAPTAIN PLANET!
Stranger: Ah, Verminous Skumm. I knew something smelled bad. Better air this place out.
Stranger: You're out of sight in my sights!
You: How?
Stranger: Dr. Blight again? Even mad scientists call her crazy.
Stranger: Nothing's gonna change unless you do.
You: You are correct
Stranger: Well, call me Captain Combustion, a spontaneous kinda guy.
Stranger: "I am not a conqueror, I am a Planeteer!"!
You: YOU ARE CAPTAIN PLANET!!!
Stranger: Well, gotta save the earth, but remember, The Power is YOURS~!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Lava, Life on Mars, I'm Washing

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi, yourself
Stranger: wus up with ya today
You: so damned bored I could cry
You: and you?
Stranger: me 2
You: nice
Stranger: im gunna go live on mars
You: saweet
Stranger: where u from
You: I met someone from mars once
Stranger: was they nice
You: kind of wimpy, really
You: terrified of everything
Stranger: i dont like wimpy, mc d's is better
You: I'm a hardees fan meself
Stranger: im going to take over mars
Stranger: wanna join me
You: sure
You: us and what army?
You: we can totally take those little sissies
Stranger: we will have the power, they are to wimpy
You: true, true
You: and also they smell like cheese
Stranger: and lumpy milk
You: ah, so you've met them too?
Stranger: yes once
You: nasty little things
Stranger: no bigger than a irish pixie
You: with their dolls and tonka trucks and diapers
You: repulsive
Stranger: your from america i take it
You: I am, as a matter of fact
Stranger: kewl beans
You: eh, it's a living
Stranger: i dont like eating beans
You: I kind of love beans
You: except garbanzo beans
Stranger: i hate baked beans
You: baked are not so great
You: refried are wonderful
You: and so is bean salad
You: human bean salad
Stranger: i like chocolate tho
You: chocolate is good
Stranger: we should take chocolate to mars
You: yes
You: WAIT!
Stranger: but not beans, they are banned
You: do you realize that chocolate is made from beans?
You: this may put a damper on our plans
Stranger: coco beans, i will give them a thumbs up
Stranger: and coffee beans
You: yes, and jelly beans
Stranger: huumm and jelly babies
You: hmmmm, not familiar
Stranger: ben and jerrys ice cream;)
Stranger: im hungry now
You: that martian tried to tell me it was a baby
You: I didn't buy it though
You: dirty little liar
Stranger: they are liars
You: I'm a fan of Hagen Daas myself
Stranger: its the best power
You: true, true
Stranger: they never bath u know
You: and thus the overwhelming stench
Stranger: can smell them from 2 miles
You: easily
You: and see the stink lines on the horizon
Stranger: im going to kill them off with shampoo
You: please do!
You: a shampoo gun
Stranger: and shower gel
Stranger: shower gel bombs
You: soap grenades
Stranger: its a plan
You: and a darn good one
Stranger: aye
You: I'm hungry too
Stranger: i may get myself a drink of ginger bear
You: mmmmm, love the stuff
Stranger: ice cold to
You: I like mine room temperature
You: my teeth are sensitive to cold :(
You: so I drink most things room temp
Stranger: mine are but they get used to it
Stranger: i think mine are getting worse thou
Stranger: bad times
You: I have lots of dreams where my teeth fall out
Stranger: lol nah i dont have that
You: that's good
You: they are not pleasant dreams
Stranger: speaking of stinky people, i need to go bath its 10.30pm here
You: ah, go then
You: and prepare for the invasion
Stranger: bi bi
You: later
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I Seek Excalibur.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: S'cuse me, d'you know how to get to Avalon from here?
Stranger: I seek Excalibur.
You: I am sorry, I do not... how accurate of directions do u need?
Stranger: Uh, better than mapquest. I don't think I can swim to england.
You: U shall take a boat!
Stranger: Sounds like a plan.
You: indeed!
You: or a plane
Stranger: Quite.
Stranger: Or a waterplane.
You: ahh yes
You: good landing!
Stranger: Thanks, I'll need it.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Could Have Done This...All Night Long

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: hello...is it me you're looking for?

You: quite possibly :)

Stranger: cause I wonder where you are

You: I'm dancing on the ceiling

Stranger: and I wonder what you do?

You: office drone

Stranger: are you somewhere feeling lonely?

You: always, always

Stranger: is someone loving you?

You: not at the moment

Stranger: tell me how to win your heart?

You: all I need is a miracle

Stranger: let me start by saying...I love you

You: I want you...I need you...but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you

Stranger: I'm stuck on you...got this feeling down deep in my soul that just won't lose

You: I've got a heart full of soul

Stranger: guess I'm on my way

You: send me on my way

Stranger: the way I feel now, guess that I'll be with you till the end

You: I just don't wanna be...all by myself

Stranger: Here we stand, worlds apart, hearts broken in two...two...two
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

THIS...IS...THE...PAAAAAAIN...KILLLLLLLLLAR!

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: FASTER THAN A BULLET
Stranger: TERRIFYING SCREAM
Stranger: ENRAGED AND FULL OF ANGAH HE'S HALF MAN AND HALF MACHINE
Stranger: RIDES THE METAL MONSTAH
Stranger: BREATHING SMOKE AND FIYAH
You: :-O
Stranger: CLOSING IN WITH VENGEANCE SOARING HIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH!
Stranger: HE
Stranger: IS
Stranger: THE
Stranger: PAAAAAINKIIIILLLLLLLAAR
Stranger: THIS
Stranger: IS
Stranger: THE
Stranger: PAAAAAAAAAIN KILLLLLLLAR
Stranger: PLANETS DEVESTATED
You: AHHHHHH!
Stranger: MANKIND'S ON IT'S KNEES
Stranger: A SAVIOR COMES FROM OUT THE SKIES IN ANSWER TO THEIR PLEASE
You: How do you kill pain?
Stranger: THROUGH BOILING CLOUDS OF THUNDAR
Stranger: BLASTING BOLTS OF STEAL
Stranger: EVIL'S GOING UNDER DEADLY WHEEEEEEEEEEEELS
Stranger: HE
Stranger: IS
Stranger: THE
Stranger: PAINKILLER
Stranger: THIS
Stranger: IS
Stranger: THE
Stranger: PAINKILLER
You: O
You: m
You: fg
Stranger: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Stranger: FASTER THAN A LASER BULLET
Stranger: LOUDER THAN AN ATOM BOMB
Stranger: CHROMIUM PLATED BOILING METAL
Stranger: BRIGHTER THAN A THOUSAND SUUUUUUUUNSS!!!
Stranger: *GUITAR SOLO*
You: hahahahhaa
Stranger: FLYING HIGH ON RAPTURE
Stranger: STRONGER FREE AND BRAVE
Stranger: NEVER MORE ENCAPTURED THEY'VE BEEN BROUGHT BACK FROM THE GRAVE
Stranger: WITH MANKIND RESURRECTED
Stranger: FOREVER TO SURVIVE
Stranger: RETURNS FROM ARMAGGEDDON TO THE SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES
Stranger: HE
Stranger: IS
Stranger: THE
Stranger: PAINKILLER
Stranger: THIS
Stranger: IS
Stranger: THE
Stranger: PAINKILLER
Stranger: WHEELS
Stranger: OF
Stranger: STEEL
Stranger: PAINKILLER
Stranger: DEADLY WHEELS PAINKILLER
Stranger: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Stranger: THIS
Stranger: IS
Stranger: THE
Stranger: PAINKILLER
Stranger: HE
Stranger: IS
Stranger: THE
Stranger: PAINKILLER
Stranger: HE
Stranger: IS
Stranger: THE
Stranger: PAINKILLER
Stranger: THIS
Stranger: IS
Stranger: THE
Stranger: PAINKILLER
Stranger: PAIN!
Stranger: PAIN!
Stranger: KILLER!
Stranger: KILLER!
Stranger: PAIN!
You: *guitars*
Stranger: PAIN!
Stranger: KILLER!
Stranger: KILLAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!1
You: *claps*
Stranger: PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!
Stranger: CAN'T...
Stranger: STOP...
Stranger: THE
Stranger: PAIN
Stranger: KILL
Stranger: ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Stranger: PAIN!

Pope Jokes Never Get Old

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi htere person
Stranger: there
You: hi there yourself! :)
You: by the way, I am not the pope
Stranger: lol
Stranger: thank f*** for that
You: lol, that's exactly how I feel
You: so who are you not?
Stranger: i am not the pope either
You: good to know!
You: never know when he's gonna show up and ruin things
Stranger: i know
Stranger: hes such a pretentious bastard too
You: yeah he is
You: with that stupid hat and the popemobile
Stranger: hahahha
Stranger: lol
You: "lookit me, I'm the pope"
Stranger: lol
You: so my dog thinks theres something under the couch
You: he's pissed that I won't move the couch to find out what it is
Stranger: nice
Stranger: do it it might be good
You: it's probably the pope
Stranger: hehehhe
Stranger: could possibly be
You: it was....
You: a piece of paper!
You: yay!
Stranger: woahahwoia!
You: so glad the dog let me know
You: now I can die happy
Stranger: aye
Stranger: give him a biscuit
You: lol, should
You: this is the kind of thing I should encourage
Stranger: yeha, reward him
You: I'll reward him with what was under the couch
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: his poo will be white
You: lol
You: and full of mitres
Stranger: rofl
Stranger: ew
You: ha, my boyfriend just made a pizza
You: now the couch is no longer interesting
You: thank dog
Stranger: cool
You: good luck keeping the dog out of your pizza, sucker
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: dog eating pizza lol
You: he will, too
You: specially if it's got poperroni on it
Stranger: he will get fat lol
You: true
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

The Pullout Method Never Works...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: just the tip?
Stranger: please
You: idk
You: what if we get caught!?
Stranger: we wont
Stranger: it will be awesome
Stranger: i swear
You: idk, you might not respect me later
Stranger: but i will, it will just make me respect you more
Stranger: i promise
You: idk, my mother is in the next room
Stranger: oh its ok, ill be quiet
Stranger: like i said just the tip
Stranger: just to see how it feels
You: well how big is the tip?
Stranger: its nothing, you wont even notice im there
You: idk...
Stranger: cmon
You: awww geeee
You: but Jesus is watching us!
Stranger: I DONT CARE HE CAN JOIN< JUST THE TIP!!!
You: hmm... idk
You: how fast will you be?
Stranger: so fast
You: you promise not to go in all the way
Stranger: i already did it and you didnt know
You: ?
Stranger: i went all they way
Stranger: and stayed
Stranger: and im all up there
Stranger: but the kids not mine
Stranger: i swear
Stranger: i pulled out....
You: wow...
You: Pull out method never works!
Stranger: FAIL
Stranger: it always works
You: I'm gonna get on Maury's show
Stranger: damn niggah you get a free flight
You: We'll see then!
You: You be payin soon!
Stranger: shiiii
Stranger: aint my kid
You: oh yes it is!
Stranger: he dont look like me
You: you know u was the only one there
Stranger: he look like my niggah antwon
You: Jesus watched you, remember?
You: HE JOINED IN!
Stranger: shii bitch, you be fucken all them niggahs
Stranger: kids his
Stranger: i knew it
Stranger: too white to be mine
You: Don't you be talkin bout Jesus!
Stranger: i aint
Stranger: ask him
Stranger: he was there
Stranger: he knows
You: He aint talkin to me now
Stranger: jesus my boi
Stranger: cuz you a crazy bitch after his child support
You: Im gon' talk to his mama
Stranger: ooohh
Stranger: she gonna woop dey ass
You: and then i'm gonna talk to yo mama!
Stranger: WHAAAA
Stranger: NAH NIGGAH
Stranger: you cant do that
You: and then all us mama's is gonna UNITE!
Stranger: my mama gonna hit eme
You: Whoop all y'all asses!
Stranger: nah
Stranger: man, you playin
Stranger: why you gotta be like that
You: uhuh, u be the one trippi
You: n
Stranger: man, i was just shootin some b ball and you all come up when me and my homies chillen out maxin
Stranger: relaxin all cool
You: aint that from Ice Cube?
Stranger: no
Stranger: its not
You: yeah yea
Stranger: fresh prince
Stranger: fail
You: whatev!
You: U aint no Jazzy Jeff
Stranger: i know, jazzy jeff was blin
Stranger: d
Stranger: and my family died that way, so thanks alot
You: Sorry, but u stuck the tip in
You: and i didnt say so
You: so thats, RAPE
Stranger: you so wanted it
You: AHHHHHH
Stranger: you liek raep
Stranger: i saw it in your eyes
Stranger: you kept saying no but they said DEEPER
You: Oh snap
You: when u was sleepin
You: i raped u tho
Stranger: really?!
You: yeah...
Stranger: that makes me love you
You: thats why u couldnt walk in the AM
Stranger: ooohhhhh
Stranger: shit
Stranger: that was good
You: Oh yeah...
You: it was all up in ya
Stranger: wait
Stranger: WHA
You: u was like, omg im back in jail!
Stranger: nooooo
You: BooBoo dont do that!
You: that was u
Stranger: shit
Stranger: i love you<3

I AM THE WALRUS!!!

Stranger: todare
You: hmm
You: ok
Stranger: si
You: oui
Stranger: porque
You: pourquoi
Stranger: looptogradation
You: Ja
Stranger: ra
You: ree
Stranger: polatee
Stranger: I.... Am.... DINOSAUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: RAWR!
You: I AM THE WALRUS!!!
Stranger: ... you win. nicely done
You: Grazie
You: Au revoir!

And He Has a KNIFE!

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: im looking for a sexy girl
You: well, I may just know where to look
Stranger: wheres that?
You: my that is a very large....
You: BEAR RIGHT BEHIND YOU!
You have disconnected.

I am not the Pope!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
Stranger: pointy nipples
You: why yes please
Stranger: poke poke
You: hey, that tickles
You: I thought you were gonna show me pointy nipples
Stranger: only one of mine is pointy
You: nothing wrong with that
Stranger: one of them is shy
You: ( . ) ( o )
Stranger: indeed!
You: yes, such things happen
Stranger: i like your widget ;)
You: lol, thanks
You: I thought I had covered it, though
You: ah, well
Stranger: not covered enough
You: that always happens
You: not used to having such a large widget
You: now spigots, on the other hand
Stranger: dont be a jizzbag
You: I was not aware that I was one
You: I think of myself as more of a douchenozzle, really
Stranger: do you always hit on guys?
You: well, being a straight girl, yes
You: that's how we do things
Stranger: your not a chick
You: well, I don't have a dick
You: so I think that's what I am
Stranger: you said you had a large widget.. haha
You: lol, yes, that's true
You: but it's only for show
Stranger: i'm not convinced
You: well, I'm not at all sure that I could convince you
You: seriously, I could be the pope for all you know
You: he doesn't have a dick either, I hear
Stranger: the pope has both i think
You: makes sense
You: he also knows polish
You: I don't know polish
You: so I am not the pope
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Yo, Is That Ghetto Rick Astley?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: H to the ello!
Stranger: dzaamn son
You: I know
You: I be all about it!
Stranger: yo that shit is wack yo
You: for realz?
Stranger: fo shizzl
You: k, I be trippin'
Stranger: mah ni**a
You: whats my mo fo name!?
Stranger: stranger yo
You: thats tight
You: u right
You: urs is too
Stranger: mah brotha!
You: word!
You: We be strangaz
You: strangaz on da block, got my 40 and my glock
Stranger: but no strangaz to love yo
You: I know
You: these peeps be trippim
You: trippin
You: what u with that
You: ?
You: aint no honeyz to love
Stranger: i know me the rules, and fo sho you knows thems too!
You: I know
You: thats wack no one else does neither
Stranger: iiiiiii just wanna holla what im feeling
You: holllaaaaaaaaaaa!
You: gimme 1 dollaaaaaaaa!
Stranger: neve' gonna give you 1 dolla!
You: u know I be playin' with u son
Stranger: never gonna let you down
Stranger: never gonna run around and steal yo bike
You: Yo, is that ghetto Rick Astley?
Stranger: it sho iz
You: Word... thats cool
You: He was a white brotha
You: my white chocolate brotha

I'M FROM SWEDEN...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: PASTA :D
You: MEATBALLS!
Stranger: IM FROM SWEDEN(A)
Stranger: MEATLOAF! :D
You: MASHED POTATOES!
Stranger: POMMES :D
You: ORANGE$!!!
You: SWEDEN!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Are You... That Blond... On The Street?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Yo
Stranger: are you...
Stranger: you know...
You: ...?
You: am i???
Stranger: that person i saw yesterday..
Stranger: ahh wait
You: maybe...
Stranger: let me remember
You: ok...
Stranger: you knwo on the street
Stranger: walking down
You: ohhhh
Stranger: long blond hair
You: i was walking up...
You: nope
Stranger: nice bpdy
Stranger: body*
You: hmm, no
Stranger: remember!?
You: im not blond
Stranger: No talkign about if you remember to saw her
You: no
Stranger: oh ok cool cause i havent saw her too so were safe
Stranger: what about you!? Still in front of your comp like me
You: why?
Stranger: Cause she's abducting ppl to have sexual relation with her and her dog...
Stranger: so try to advoid her
You: ok
You: i will
You: im not into dogs
Stranger: in not nether that why i advise you
Stranger: Still there!?
You: yes
Stranger: Ok cool... though i was alone again
Stranger: hate
Stranger: that
Stranger: when ppl
You: k
Stranger: leave
Stranger: i
Stranger: cry
You: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Stranger: in my batroom alone after
You: awwww
You: im sorry
You: u need a hug
You: from the blond
Stranger: NOOOOO
You: walking down the street
Stranger: please
Stranger: dont call her
You: i will
Stranger: ill give you everything
You: right NOW!
Stranger: event my viginity
You: because guess what
You: IM HER!!!!!
Stranger: NOooooo waaa
Stranger: Please
Stranger: ill do it with a squirell but please
Stranger: let your dog out
You: OK
You: I will spare u this time
Stranger: ouff
Stranger: *kiss*
You: ok
You: but next time
You: UR IT!!!
Stranger: =\ look i thing im in the WC
Stranger: go see if im there ok
Stranger: =)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

The Law According To Ew...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ew.
You: ewwwww
You: thats bad
Stranger: ew
Stranger: i thought so too
You: yeah
You: just gross
Stranger: seriously
Stranger: wtf?
You: i cant believe they still do that
Stranger: EXACTLY
Stranger: disgusting
You: I mean... ew
Stranger: thats just terrible
You: I agree
You: that should be banned
You: and be illegal in all 50 states
Stranger: we should make a law
You: Yeah
You: What would it be called?
Stranger: then...the world wouldnt be...gross
Stranger: just ew
You: The Law according to Ew
Stranger: Ew Twins*
You: Double Ew
Stranger: Ew squared
You: Ew Cubed
Stranger: there's a third?
You: You never know
You: Haha Ew
Stranger: wow
Stranger: creeper
Stranger: lol
You: Yeah
You: I agree
You: Creepy ew
Stranger: creeper ew status
Stranger: fer sure
You: Yeah
You: I feel bad for female sheep though
Stranger: Why?
You: Because they're so Ewe... ha ha ha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

We are talking about a phone, right?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi!
You: Hi!
Stranger: 8=====D ?
You: is that a big smile?
Stranger: yes
You: or are u just happy to see me?
Stranger: It is my phone
Stranger: funny desing
You: what part do you talk into?
Stranger: design
Stranger: in " D "
You: ahh and where do you dial?
Stranger: But the signal is weak sometimes :(
You: Did you try hitting it?
Stranger: I tryed many things
Stranger: Flash in toilet
Stranger: Didnt work
Stranger: Smash on pole
Stranger: I gave to my dog
Stranger: even my cat
You: aww, sounds like you need a new one!
Stranger: I need a wooden one
Stranger: They say :" It is good stuff"
You: I've never seen one of those
Stranger: I don't know , I can still use my old one
You: do you have a case?
Stranger: Yeah , a funny stretchy one
Stranger: Cause I can drop and nothing happen
You: Thats true
You: you don't want to break it
Stranger: Correct
You: or even scratch it
Stranger: Soo Do you have a cellphone or phone ?
You: i have both
Stranger: And how do you feel with that ?
You: well, i seldom ever talk on my phone
You: but my family usually helps me to use it
Stranger: Ah huh
Stranger: I got it
You: we have family time
Stranger: It must be fun , one phone to for all family
You: we're very close
Stranger: I see , you even use same phone
Stranger: That's a good connection , there
You: well, its just cheaper and less of a hassle
Stranger: It's good to think about future
You: indeed
Stranger: Don't need to pay much for phone
You: no no
You: and everyone gets a turn
Stranger: yes ?
Stranger: oh
You: i have to go now... phone

Your conversational partner has disconnected.