Monday, April 20, 2009

Oh Crap, I Hope This Doesn't Kill Him....

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: im lookin for a chic to hit on
Stranger: noting serious
You: don't be hitting me
You: domestic violence is not cool
Stranger: ....O_o
Stranger: ur rite
You: yeah, I'm a jackass like that
Stranger: but i mean flirt with
You: I know
Stranger: it's all goood
You: lol, good
Stranger: r u a girl?
You: now that I know you have a sense of humor, contimue with the perversion!
You: yes, I am
You: though I prefer the term hussy
Stranger: do u want me to be really perverted
Stranger: cuz i can be
You: well, if you get really perverted, I'm gonna yell "COCKS" and disconnect
You: just how I do things is all
Stranger: okay... i wont cross the line
Stranger: i hope
You: ok, shoot, then!
Stranger: so, how u doin
Stranger: clothes or no
You: I am doing swell
You: clothes yes
Stranger: do u want me to take em off
You: yours or mine?
Stranger: whichever you want
You: um, yours, IF you're wearing something fun underneath
Stranger: oh yeah
You: is it...women's underwear?
Stranger: ...no?
You: cause that is totally a turn on
Stranger: how bout u
Stranger: then yes
You: I'm wearing women's underwear
Stranger: how bout you pull em down
Stranger: nice and slow
You: well, if I do that, they'll get stuck in my trosers
You: truosers*
You: jesus christ, I cannot type
Stranger: lol
You: I hope that doesn't wreck it for you
Stranger: oh no
You: I know some people can't get it on with idiots
Stranger: i prefer it
You: good! then we are a perfect match
Stranger: they give up common sense
Stranger: for sex sskills
Stranger: or so ive heard
You: well, assuming they are not parapalegic
You: then there would not be many skillz
You: sex or otherwise
Stranger: ohhhh yyeeaahh
You: like, I would totally not do stephen hawking
You: big brain or not
Stranger: i just puked in my mouth
You: so if I just type sex real slow, would that be good?
You: like
You: SSSSSEEEEEEEXXXXXX
Stranger: im really hard now
You: no hard questions
You: I told you I'm not very smart
Stranger: i just wanna get all over u
You: Mann U?
Stranger: ?
You: that's the only U I like
Stranger: ?
Stranger: im not that smart either
You: eh, well, that's fine
You: anyway, ask the hard question, I'll do my best
You: oh, and SSSSSEEEEEXXXXXX
Stranger: ready for you question
Stranger: about SSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEXXXXX
You: ok, ready
You: yyyyyyeeeeeeeSSSSSSS!!!!!!
You: wait, am I asking or are you?
You: I'm confused :(
Stranger: if i stick my **** in your **** 158 times, 48 times missionary, 52 doggystyle and 56 times standing, how many other thrusts can i make
You: well, it depends on the velocity and the angle of the vectors, really
Stranger: good
Stranger: now...
You: you are stephen hawking, aren't you?
You: jesus christ, not again!
You have disconnected.

Ill Hawking Rushed to Hospital

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